5/18/14. THE ‘ONE ANOTHER’ FACTOR DOESN’T COME EASILY OR QUICKLY

Our whole digital, Facebook, twitter culture is simply the most current episode of de-personalized, or faux-relationships culture. Think back over the past several decades to such works as: Alone in the Crowd, or The Pursuit of Loneliness, or Bowling Alone and how they rang bells with so many who longed for authentic relationships, but at the same time were fearful of exposing their true selves to anyone else. And yet, as N. T. Wright says (I think in his Simply Christian): there is a common human quest for relationships—we are created for such.

Then think of all of the New Testament ‘one another’words of instruction to those in the infant church: confess your sins to one another … bear one another’s burdens … be subject to one another … love one another as God in Christ has loved you … etc. To create a ‘private Christianity’ in which I can hide myself from those others who have been rescued by Jesus Christ is something of a huge distortion, or subversion, of what Jesus came to do in creating a New Humanity, or a Kingdom Community in which there is again true intimacy between persons, and between persons and God, their Creator.

But, again, such intimacy is frightening to so many of us, and so we ‘fake it” with all kinds of churchy interpersonal activities, but where we don’t have to get too close. The answer? Not easy. It takes time and intentionality. Even St. Benedict’s Rule on monastic life required a time as an inquirer to be instructed and to learn to live fruitfully in intimate proximity with others in the community. Only after one had shown an ability and a willingness to accept the communal disciplines were they nominated for inclusion. Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together is a good resource for exploring the dynamics, the difficulties and blessings of such.

Any Christian community/church cannot assume that folk are ready for such relationships. Most churches, as a matter of fact, are where one can participate (hide?) in large gatherings for worship, etc. and never have to engage in face-to-face conversation with others about their daily lives, failures, joys, brokenness, sense of mission, family life, marital (and even sexual) life and complications. We assume that folk can join a ‘small group’ or a ‘neighborhood group’ and tune-in right away with others. Not so.

Formation for Christian community is a forgotten, yet essential, piece of our calling. It takes someone demonstrating and assisting and mentoring before we can confess our sins to one another, and to know how to live in harmony with other ‘screwed-up’ people—how to love each other as God, in Christ, has loved us, to live as members of one another, to suffer when any one of us suffers. Most of the New Testament epistles have whole sections on the redeemed relationships within the community that are a hugely influential witness to the watching world.

Yet, again, this takes time. In my own experience it may begin with some simple Bible study, or a shared meals—some kind of house-to-house gathering of those who grow into their understanding of each other. It requires that we know each other’s names, faces, and stories/histories. Confessing weaknesses, real sins, failures, aspirations, and fresh understandings with each other, takes time. And yet such demonstrations of God’s New Creation communities, small as they must be, are the foundation for Christian witness.

Still, I want to reassert my conviction that such true relationships are the path into true freedom in the Spirit. Yes, you can get hurt and betrayed in such, no question—but you can also move to new levels of discipleship and reality and Kingdom community that is one of God’s great gifts to us. “I will build my church” was not some sterile institution building by Christ. It was an essential component of the gospel. … And it’s all too rare!